I'm Going To Get The Mail

Where are you going?

...I’m going to get the mail.

How will you get there?

…I’m going to walk.

How will you know which door to open?

…I have the key.

What are you expecting?

...A surprise from a friend.

Do you know what the surprise is?

…Not now, but I’ll know when I open it.

  

Where are you going today?  Do you know how to get there?  How will you know you’ve arrived?  Do you need directions?  I think we all want to know where we are going and many times we act as if we know, but inside we are just following along the trail that everyone has trod upon. It’s easier.  It’s safer.  We do what is expected so not to disturb the natural flow of things. 

Why take a risk? 

Why question the always-accepted answer?

We don’t want to seem different or unique.  Somehow these traits are lost on us as we get older.  The child who asks all the questions in kindergarten gets it.  You have to ask to learn.  Why is the sky blue? You have to question the standard answer to understand for yourself.  Why can’t we have our snack outside today?  The child isn’t afraid to ask or make mistakes or try it again or get dirty.  They risk everything to learn and understand.

So, if you don’t know where you’re going, it’s ok.  Ask questions, learn, get dirty.  Do the work to find out what you want to know.  Sitting back and doing nothing will leave you in the same place you started.  Make prints in the clean sand and don’t worry if the line isn’t straight.  It’s part of the process of knowing where you want to go.

Where are you going?

…I’m going to learn.

How will you get there?

…I’m going to read, love, try, pray, tap my toe to the music.

How will you know when you’ve arrived?

…I’ll want to sit for a bit.

What are you expecting?

…A little voice in my ear to whisper and a calm to wash over me.

Do you know what the whisper will say?

…Not now, but I will when I hear it.

Waiting For A Little Bird To Sing

Lately I feel like an elephant-sized sponge.  I have the desire to learn and learn and learn about anything and everything.  (Maybe I need to go back to school and earn my Masters in The Art of Learning.  That is a degree isn’t it?)  I want to study religion, psychology, child development, aging, technology in our everyday lives, the power of prayer, friendship, book making, lithography, photography, English, letter press, publishing, and the list goes on and on and on. 

Do you see my problem?  I didn’t have this desire when I was in college.  I enjoyed it, don’t get me wrong, but the appreciation for knowledge wasn’t there at that time in my life.  It’s there now.  

If you were to see my library card, you would tell me to stand in line and get a new one. I’ve had it for over fifteen years now and it’s beginning to show signs of intense wear. But, I like the personality it has.   It has a history.  My interests and how they change daily are logged on that card.  If you were to pull a history of my recent check-outs you’d probably think I had multiple personalities or something.  

I can’t seem to narrow my interests down to a single path.  Some days I can, but other days, it’s like looking at the aisle in the paint store at all the color possibilities.  I’m drawn to them all and they all have a unique place in my heart.  Red is bold. Yellow is lovely.  Blue is crisp.  Brown is warm.  I love them all.

I love anything crafty because it makes my soul sing. Getting my hands dirty is very satisfying at the end of the day.  I love learning how to enhance my life in beautiful ways.  Keeping a journal or surrounding myself with candlelight is calming. The psychology of it all is intriguing to me.  I love anything that brings clarity to God and our purpose here on this earth. The world religions are fascinating to me and could study them all day.

But I don’t have all day, and that is where I stumble; so little time.  I want to pick the correct path.  Is there a wrong path in learning?  Perhaps not. I try to focus on the fact that I want to learn each day and that in its own right is healthy and feeds a daily need for me.  Perhaps it’s a phase of life that we all go through?  I am waiting by open doors and windows for that little bird to sing my song and draw me to it.  Then, I will know which way to walk.  Until then, I will gaze at their openness and potential and appreciate them for all they could bring.  I do hope that little bird shows up soon. 

I'm No Expert

I am not one of those who know the names of all the Presidents (I think I could name ten), nor do I claim to be an expert on all things baking (that requires skills I don’t have).  I cannot tell you the type of bird that sits on my fence in the morning to greet me at my kitchen window and I most certainly will not be able to help my children with their calculus homework in a few years (we have Uncle Jason and Arif Cha Cha for that). 

Now, am I capable of learning all those things? Of course, but do I need to know those things?  Not really.  I can Google a list of the Presidents in record time. I can buy beautiful cupcakes at the store, and I could probably take a picture of the bird and figure out if he’s a chickadee or a wren.  As for the calculus homework, I have the phone numbers of the uncles aforementioned, so am good there.

There are some days; however, that I wish I was an expert at something.  I don’t know in what, but it might be nice.  At dinner with friends, if the conversation happened to turn to, let’s say, animals of the artic and you were an expert; how splendid! You would be able to add your two cents about the Narwhal’s eating patterns or how the Arctic Tern migrates over 22,000 miles each year. “Fascinating, just fascinating,” they would say.  You’d smile and feel all “know-it-all” like inside, but that moment would pass and then the discussion would turn to finance and everyone would order dessert. Would being an expert on arctic animals benefit the conversation at dinner?  Maybe - Maybe not.

Perhaps that’s what this is about.  I’m searching for that subject I enjoy enough to become an expert on the topic.  Not so I can fluff up the dinner conversation, but to fuel my soul and keep my mind wondering and wanting to learn as an adult.  My dad and I have often talked about the fact that the value of education is lost on teenagers. I didn’t pay attention to Mrs. Peterson’s lectures, as I should have, but learned enough to take the test and pass.  There was no joy in 8th grade English, but now as an adult, I wish I knew more about punctuation rules and when it’s appropriate to use “…” or a hyphen.

As an adult, my interests continue to change and am enlightened by all that there is to learn and know.  For now, learning about writing and all the possibilities that come with that subject is fascinating, just fascinating. (To me, anyway.)  I hope that you will take a minute today to embrace something that fuels your soul and read about it, learn about it, watch a movie about it.  Because when our souls are fed, we are happier people.

A grammar book I checked out from the library is calling my name.  I’m off to learn and fuel my soul.