Like This One?

My husband found the very first one while we were on a walk around Lake Superior almost 16 or 17 years ago.  The water was calm and the sun glistened upon the lake and the rocks along the shoreline. We were amazed at all the different colors and odd shapes of stones we were walking on.  I mentioned that it would be nice to find one shaped like a heart and just as I said those words, he bent down and lifted a wet pink stone out from amongst the smaller ones. “Like this one?” he said.  We both looked at each other and laughed.  It was as if it had been planted there for us to find just at that moment.  It was a perfect heart-shaped rock.  He put it into my hand and I’ve kept it on a shelf in our home ever since. 

Finding that pink stone created in me a desire to find more.  It’s something I’m always conscious about and on the lookout for, but usually only pick them up when we’re on vacation or on a hike. I’ve spotted them in the parking lot at the grocery store or at the baseball park, but for some reason, I’ve chosen to leave those.  For me, it’s more fun to be in nature and spot them.  It makes me feel special when I find one. As if someone knew I was coming and placed it on the trail for me to discover.

Over the years, my collection has grown, but is still small in number.  I likely have 15-20 stones and a few heart-shaped shells as well. My children look for them now too when we hike and travel together.  It makes our time on the trails a little more special.  And the rule is: it has to really be heart-shaped, not “kind of” or “if you hold it this way” shaped.   It has to look like a heart to everyone. 

I can’t recall where each one has come from, but they are all special to me, but not as special as the first one my husband found for me.  It was a very romantic moment and was as if he said to me, “What ever you desire, I will provide.”   Every time I bend down to reach for one now, I recall that Saturday morning, holding hands and listening to the waves gently tapping the shoreline.  If I were to take that walk today, I could show you the spot where he found it; my beautiful pink heart-shaped stone. 

It's Worth Ten Points

When I was in college, I was President of the Resident Assistant Association on our campus for a year.  We held meetings twice a month to discuss ways to support and entertain the Residence Hall members we were monitoring. I don’t remember much about all the activities and people involved because there were so many, but I do remember one meeting we had very clearly.  That meeting has stayed with me for my entire life since then and I often recall the discussion in my mind.  

Our Director of Residence Life spoke as a guest speaker that day and discussed the topic of freshmen not being able to prioritize their activities well and how they often let little things bring them down instead of staying focused on the important things.

Here’s how she explained it to us.   Picture a target at the end of a 100-foot range. When a marksman aims at the target, he always aims at the center to obtain the highest marks.  Ten points awarded for a bullseye.  The next ring out is worth 9 points.  The next ring out is worth 8 points and so on.   It’s a basic concept.

Now picture those in your life who are important to you.  Can you see them?   They are the target.  Those closest to us; spouses, children, parents and siblings are the bullseye.  Our close friends and other relatives are the next ring out.  The further away from the bullseye, the less important the people become.   The outer lying ring could be the grocery store clerk or even the cashier at Taco Bell. They aren't worth many points on your target.  

She went on to explain that many freshmen tend to get bothered with the little things and give those items permission to upset their daily routines or lives.  Why spend thirty minutes upset about the slow traffic or a report that won’t print? Only one point. Maybe even zero. These items are on the outer ring of the target and many times aren’t even on the target, but the wide-open space surrounding the target. We give the unimportant things too much value and permission to bring us down.  We are aiming at the wrong part of the target and need to focus on hitting the bullseye!  Far more points awarded for that arrow than hitting the tree behind the target.   It is up to us to practice our aim and to shoot at the high value parts of the target. 

I will never forget that meeting and have thought about it so many times in my life. It’s a very simple concept to comprehend. The big points come from those closest to us.  They care about our happiness and well-being. They are the ones who bring us dinner when we’re sick and the ones who want the very best for us. The drive-thru Taco Bell cashier does not.  So today, aim for the bullseye because it’s worth ten points.

My Perfect Table

Why is it that when things aren’t perfect, we get annoyed. I know, because I can become this person very quickly and have to try and fight myself from getting annoyed. I have to really remember that it’s ok to have dents and scratches in my life.

When I packed up the Christmas tree ornaments a few years ago, I set my large ornament box onto the dining room table so I could reach it more easily.  As I finished, I pushed the box down the length of the table to make room to wrap up the star (which is terribly old and torn and really should have been tossed out eight Christmases ago).  When I lifted the box to make my way to the basement with it, there in the middle of the table was a scratch 20 inches long glaring right at me.  I was furious and didn’t have anyone but myself to blame.  The box had a huge copper staple sticking out of the corner and was the culprit of the table’s now ugly scar. My “perfect” table was now imperfect, or so I thought at the time.

Why do we get so angry about these things?  It doesn’t make sense to get upset over a table, does it?  Of course not, but our minds tell us that when these things happen, somehow the “perfect” image we have of ourselves is now not so perfect.  Oh my goodness, what will someone say if they see my scratched table? Silly worries. I have yet to have one person comment on the table. 

These things happen and are what make life interesting.  I’d much rather have dinner at my friend’s house on a scratched table and hear a great story about how it got scratched than eat at a house with a perfect table any day.  The scratch is part of my life and reminds me of that moment each time I see it.  Looking at it, I think of all the ornaments that were on the tree.  The puzzle wreath my oldest son made in kindergarten with his little picture in the middle, the handprint on pink paper that our youngest son painted with his fingers and tied with a green ribbon and the blue glass ornament we got in Bermuda and how the color was exactly the color of the ocean that day.  That scratch is my life and the memories in it.  I like my scratched table now. It’s perfect.

A Date to Circle on the Calendar

I just got my new Budget Travel magazine (it’s the only one I actually read cover to cover) in the mail yesterday and it made me think of where we might go on vacation this summer.  We don’t have anything on the calendar yet and really would like a timeframe to look forward to. Be it a weekend away or a cruise, I’d just like to have a date to circle on the calendar. Have you ever noticed that if you don’t have something to look forward to, things can get a little blah?  I know life is busy and there are the weekly things to look forward to like book club, a soccer game, hat day at school, a great presentation you’re planning to give; but for me, having that one big day circled on the calendar to look forward to makes life a little more perky.   

I don’t know if it’s the anticipation and counting down the days to a trip that’s more exciting or the actual vacation itself. It’s hard to say.  I enjoy both, but would probably say that the anticipation is a bit more exciting for me. I love thinking about what the area will look like and what the “vibe” of the location will feel like. Will the weather be warm and comfortable?  Will we find a great adventure to participate in while we’re there?  Will there be any surprises we find along the way?  It’s always more enjoyable to daydream when that day is out there.

Plus, I’m one of those who love to pack early too.  Having my suitcase on the floor for the week leading up to the trip just adds to the excitement.   I don’t like to be rushed.  EVER. I don’t think well under pressure so planning ahead and making all the lists of “Things to Pack” and “Things to Buy”, is part of the enjoyment for me. I love the feeling of being prepared.  Having the boys ask, while we’re on the plane, “Did you pack our red goggles instead of the blue ones?” and being able to say, “Yes,” is very satisfying for me. 

Perhaps this week we should get the ball rolling and figure out when and where and for how long.  I need something to look forward to that doesn’t involve the grocery store or laundry.  I need to circle a day on my calendar and soon! 

Nothing Pleases Me More

Nothing pleases me more than when my children don’t respond to me calling them to dinner.  “Boys, it’s time to eat. Wash your hands and come down.”  No response…still no response.  It drives me batty; however, when it’s because they both have their noses buried in a book, I’m ok with that.   I am so thankful they have embraced the joy of reading at such an early age.  I know by the number of books they read, it will be a life-long activity for both of them.  Nothing pleases me more.

We were in Barnes & Noble today (our favorite store in the world) on a mission for my little guy to get a book he’s been wanting for a while and saved his Christmas money to buy. He headed straight for the section where his book was located while my older guy headed to his section while I struggled to keep up with them.  They both looked like book zombies walking to their assigned areas in the store.  One went straight and the other turned right and parted ways. All  of a sudden, my little guy grabs a book off the shelf before I can see what it was and starts running, and I mean running, towards his big brother, with the book in hand.  Repeatedly shouting his name in a loud whisper, trying to get his big brother’s attention, he waved the book overhead.

He handed it off to his brother only to receive the biggest smile ever!  It was the newest book in a series he loves and had been waiting for its release for quite some time.  I don’t know what was more exciting to see: Witnessing my little guy thinking of his brother and wanting him to have something he wanted so badly and the fact that he knew enough about what his brother reads to recognize the new book or seeing the smile on the face of my oldest when he realized his weekend was now going to be filled with 10 hours of reading his new book.  It was just a wonderful moment and makes me so proud of them.

Yes they love to play video games and go swimming, be with friends and the like, but having them both be content on the couch with blankets tucked under their chins, the fireplace on and their noses buried in a book couldn’t make me happier.  Nothing pleases me more.