I had to squint so much that my eyebrows hurt. I actually thought someone had changed it without me knowing because the letters were so small and just the day before, I could see them perfectly. But no, no one changed anything. It’s just my vision and its youthfulness fading right before my very eyes. (Pun intended.)
I knew this day was coming, as I’ve been in the 40 Something 45º Head Tilt Club for a few months now. You know the group. The ones who tilt their heads back while reading the ingredients on the back of the cereal box at the grocery store and do the zoom in zoom out arm dance ‘til they get the right pose. That would be us. It’s not embarrassing or awful. It’s just a club in life that I wasn’t quite ready to pay my membership dues to and attend the daily meetings. I thought I had more time.
Being a new member, I am still at the Bronze level however, and the zoom in zoom out arm dance seems to still work for me. I know that in the next year or so, I’ll probably move up to the Silver level and will be invited by the other members to get the standard “I Got Bifocals Today” t-shirt and my first pair of no-line bifocals. They swear you only trip up the steps the first week, so am hoping that’s the only initiation they’ll put me through. If it looks like I’m heading to the Gold level though, I’ll let you know. Most of the Gold level members just forget the glasses entirely and sign up for the bonus package that includes a Silver level person to follow you around and just read everything for you; the menu, the newspaper, your prescription medicine labels and the like. They are a lovely group of people, but I sincerely hope to enjoy my Bronze level benefits for many years to come.
For now, I am thankful for 14-point sized font, that my arms are long enough and that Tylenol still works for the head tilt neck ache I have each evening. I’ll let you know when I get my t-shirt, though. I’m hoping it comes in pink.
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