No Tears Please

Today my little boy became a mature big boy.  I know it sounds silly to use the term “big boy” when he’s 9, but he showed such maturity today and couldn’t be more proud of him.  The district chess tournament was today and is a yearly event featuring 160 of the best chess players in the district.   My son was one of those 160 today.  Of those 160 players, 31 were in his grade alone all competing for the top five trophies in his grade (which increase in size by rank) and a chance for the entire audience to applaud just for them.  It’s a big deal when you’re 9. 

In the past, he’s been somewhat emotional about the whole thing.   His friends have won and he hasn’t.  They’ve gotten trophies, and he hasn’t.  They’ve had a high score and he hasn’t and it’s all been very difficult to handle.  I was afraid today would have similar emotions and tears.

The first match was quick and ended in a loss for him and wins for his two teammates.  He almost started to cry, I could see it in his eyes, but I could also see something new, an expression of control. He didn’t want to cry and was trying to control the emotions that were racing to his eyes.  Not one tear.  He managed to find a way to put it into perspective and be positive.  He had four more chances and would put the first one behind him.

Rounds two and three ended with smiles and tally marks on the opposite side of the score sheet.  Hooray!  Wins for the two teammates as well.   Round four, not so great.  A long tough match and against a girl!  Losing is one thing, but when you’re 9 and you lose to a girl, that is a double whammy, yet, no tears. He displayed a simple thumbs down as he emerged from the gym doors and proceeded to ask if there were any more cookies in the backpack.  My heart was huge.  Were we really going to make it through this entire experience without a tear?  I was hopeful.

Round five and a thumbs up and a high five.  He ended the day with 3 Wins and 2 Losses.  He was thrilled with himself and felt he had done his best AND was happy that his two teammates did well too.  One would take 5th place (trophy and medal awarded) and the other would take 1st place (biggest trophy and medal awarded).  He would end around 9th -11th place out of 31 (no trophy, but a medal awarded).

Here is where I thought the progress he’d made throughout the day would come to a screeching halt. The tournament was for ages K-12.  Kindergarten through 5th grade had to earn their spot to compete from within their school chess teams. Sixth grade through 12th grade was open registration and anyone could participate. At the last minute, his 7th grade big brother decided he would register to play (since his baseball game got cancelled due to the snow) and ended up winning 4th place (trophy and medal awarded).  When we heard his name, I instantly looked to my little guy, who had both arms raised in a “hooray” motion and clapped and cheered for his big bro.  I couldn’t believe what I was seeing.  It was beautiful.  He was happy for someone else (his brother, nonetheless) and not worried about his standings in the end.    PLUS, my oldest was very concerned about how his brother would feel about his winning and walked straight over to him and handed him the trophy and said he could keep it in his room.  I did everything I could not to cry, seeing how this was our secret goal of the entire day.  I couldn’t have been more proud.  A moment I will never forget.  Selflessness, caring and genuine concern for each other.   It was a good day.  A tearless day.  (Ok, so maybe it wasn’t completely tearless!)