Silvia and CeCe

I know I’m not alone.  We’ve all been there.  Standing in line waiting our turn to pay for the groceries, scanning the 38 types of gum, when it hits you smack in the face.  The woman (it’s never a man) in front of you is “one of those” people.  You take a deep breath and try to remain calm. 

I am ALWAYS behind her in line.  Let’s call her Silvia.  You see, Silvia is not like other people. She is a lost soul and never has to be anywhere but where she is at that moment. She doesn’t have to pick anyone up from school (and obviously doesn’t care that you do).

Just the other day I was standing in line at the store behind “Silvia” thumbing through the magazines at the checkout stand when I heard her say, “The tomatoes are on sale.  They aren’t $2.99 a pound, they are $2.97 a pound.”  I try to ignore what I’ve just heard, but I know I’m in for it now.  There’s no turning back.  I’ve already unloaded my cart onto the conveyor belt.  “Ma’am, the sale ended yesterday on all our produce.”  Silvia tells the clerk, “The sign says they are $2.97 per pound and I want them for that price. That’s why I came in today.”  I look at the scale holding the tomatoes.  She has two.  TWO.  If they were on sale and that’s why she came, then why is she buying only two?  For heaven’s sake lady, buy the whole lot of them!

Or, how about Silvia’s younger sister, CeCe? CeCe is talking on her cell phone, rummaging through her purse looking for her checkbook or her credit card or who knows what.  Her three-year-old daughter, who is in desperate need of a nose wiping, is crying because her baby doll’s head is stuck in the rungs of the cart and she can’t get her out. CeCe sees the doll, but ignores it. CeCe’s purse then falls to the floor, knocking her daughter in the head.  Pennies and dimes are rolling across the floor and the crying has now escalated to a new level called screaming.  The cashier has just turned on her register’s blinking light (this should be the universal symbol telling everyone in line behind her to run - but no - it means she’s out of register tape! Oh joy!) And yet, CeCe is still talking on the phone to her girlfriend about the movie they are going to see next Friday and asking if she should wear the new purple dress that’s really low cut or her cut off jean shorts with that cute yellow top with the ruffles on it.  Really?

I can’t help but roll my eyes at her and say to myself, “You are unbelievable, woman.” I know these types exist, but to see them in action never ceases to amaze me.  I am very choosy when it comes to picking my line at most any store.  I’m always on the lookout for Silvia and CeCe in the checkout lane and try to stay as far away from them as possible, but there are days when my “crazy lady” radar is on the fritz. It’s on those days that I try and remind myself that the world is made up of all types.  I just hope I’m not THAT type.