Almost fifteen years ago I was nine months pregnant with our first child. Nine months round, not quite waddling, but a little slow to move about. The nursery was ready, the car seat was buckled in and the hospital bag was packed and on the bedroom floor. I was excited and not so much nervous. I knew I could get through the labor part, I really didn’t have any doubts about that, but I had no idea just how much a child would change our lives in profound ways. What I know now as an almost 15 year parent veteran would sure have come in handy then. I share today with you the letter I now write to my younger self on my way to the hospital about to become a first-time mother and be filled with such joy.
Dear Stephani,
Your life as you know it is about to change forever. Hold on tight. The joy and love will spill from the moment you set eyes on that beautiful baby boy. Be prepared. It’s powerful. It will knock you on your feet some days, so always be alert and ready for its strength and depth. Time will not stand still. He will not be a baby for long, in fact, he will be talking and walking in what seems a matter of days. He will laugh and bring light to every room he enters. Hold on. Time becomes fuzzy so quickly that one day very soon, he will be fifteen years old and will be talking of friends and dances and driving and college. Yes, college. I’m telling you this again, so you will hear me and remember this. Hold on tight. While you are in the midst of changing diapers and picking out clothes and finding the best pre-school, time will betray you and you will wake up and beg for more time. Let him stay up late some times; it won’t matter. Let him eat cupcakes for breakfast for a whole week if he wants when he’s five; it won’t matter. Let him wear his batman cape to school; it won’t matter. Let him talk to his friends later than he should; it won’t matter. What will matter is that you embrace every moment he is with you in the car chatting about school, watching movies together, sitting in silence together as he fishes for the tenth hour, and watching him sleep in his warm bed. He will grow into a young man right before your eyes and it will feel as if you just blinked. You will be proud of who he is and you will cry at the thought of him leaving for college one day. Hold on. Hold on to every moment. Put those moments in your pocket for safe keeping because in a few minutes, yes minutes, he will be a man and you will still be his mother, but he won’t be your baby anymore. Hold on tight. Time will never be the same again. Hold on to every moment you have together.
Love,
The older mother, Stephani
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| photo credit - uncle jason |
I know JUST how you feel! Time just goes by so, so fast! When they are little it feels like they will never grow up and we will be picking toys up off the floor forever, but then we blink and they are teenagers. I wish we could have written letters like this for our young selves. I think I would have appreciated it! Beautiful thoughts... thank you for sharing them. :)
ReplyDeleteGinger, I don't know how time can be moving so quickly. I still feel like I'm 16 some days, so how can I have a son who is about to be 15. Time baffles me. I just want to find the pause button for a bit.
ReplyDeleteIf I were to write you a letter, I would tell you that each minute you have shared with your family oozes into their DNA and enables them to be the adults , parents and grandparents they will become. Being a parent is such a priviledge and being a grandparent is an unmeasurable gift from God. Just ask your children's grandparent and I am sure they will agree!
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